HOLY WEEK

Holy Week is over, and I survived intact. Today and tomorrow are well-earned days off. A few people have wondered about my sermons, and I said that I wanted to post them all at the same time, so I've done that. You can find them below. Why not post them on each day? Well, to be honest, I didn't always have the time to do that. So I got up early today (even on days off, the internal alarm still works), and posted them all.

While I was posting them, I had the good fortune to also have a conversation with a dear friend. And today, when the weather has turned ugly here in SW Montana, it was one of those conversations that warmed my heart. It was a good morning.

Holy Week "Bads": Very few people from CC chose to take part in the services held in VC.

Holy Week "Goods": It was good that I was able to share this experience with two congregations who haven't experienced anything of the sort for way too long. It was good that one of the people from CC who did participate in almost all of it mentioned that this was her best Easter ever. It was good that we had an even split between Trinity (the church on the other side of the mountains), St. Paul's and Christ churches for the Easter Vigil. It was good that the Paschal candle only went out once in the procession from the fire outside into the church.

So, I survived. My family survived (and you might want to check out The Lovely Wife for her take on certain events). And now I can look forward to a couple of days of rest.

Peace.

MAUNDY THURSDAY
JOHN 13:1-15

Today is Maundy Thursday, the first day of what is called the Triduum, or the "Three Sacred Days." For those of you who don't know, Maundy Thursday derives its name from the Latin "mandatum novum," or "new commandment," which is taken from John 13:34, "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another." It is the night when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, the night on which Jesus instituted the Eucharist by reforming the Passover meal, and the night when Judas betrayed him to the authorities.

But, like my favorite professor used to say, "It's more complicated than that." The foot washing ceremony, which we are about to participate in, is more than an act of remembrance. It is a surprisingly intimate act that can catch you off guard. Many people have told me, "I don't mind being the washer, but I'm uncomfortable having my own feet washed.

Why is that? Here are two reasons. First, as Christians we are used to serving others. That is simply something we do as part of our faith tradition. And second, we are uncomfortable seeing our friends submit to us, putting us on a pedestal, so to speak. We don't like that disparity. Part of Christian hospitality, however, is not only being willing to serve others, but being willing to accept being served with grace and dignity.

Then there is the meal, which we finished a few minutes ago. This is not the Passover meal which became the Last Supper which became the Eucharist. The agape meal is a specifically Christian meal with a colorful history. Originally a common meal before the Eucharist, it soon devolved into a BYOF (Bring Your Own Food) event in which the poorer people of the congregation were left out. Some, apparently, even spent the time getting drunk. You can read what Paul thought of all of this in 1 Corinthians 11. Eventually it became a charity meal until it finally fell out of practice over time. It is revived here as a remembrance of our early Christian history.

And finally, there is Jesus' betrayal. If you were here Palm Sunday, you heard me say that we all participated in his crucifixion. We all yelled, "Crucify him! We want Barabbas!" Tonight, we see the beginnings of what we asked for. We all have times in our lives when we are angry at God, when maybe we wish God would go away and leave us alone. Tonight, it happens.

Just like Judas, we realize that Jesus isn't who we thought he was. Just like Judas, Jesus upsets our carefully laid plans. Just like Judas, we think we can do better. Just like Judas, we become angry with Jesus. And in that anger, we ask Jesus to leave us alone. Much to our surprise and horror, however, he does just that.

In a few minutes, we will have the experience of being both the servant and of the one being served as we participate in the foot washing. From there, we will celebrate the last Eucharist until the Easter Vigil. And finally, we will tell Jesus to get out of our lives. The sanctuary will be stripped of all references to Christ and our faith. We will kick Jesus out. We will be alone.

In that loneliness, I urge you to spend some time in prayer, fasting, self-examination and repentance. Question your faith. Ask yourself why any of this matters. Talk with God honestly, and expect honest answers in return. Experience each day of the Triduum as a way for you to reconnect with God.

Easter awaits, but we need to get through this first.

GOOD FRIDAY
JOHN 19:1-37

Last night was Maundy Thursday, the first day of the Triduum. We remember it as the night Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, and we performed the same act of service to each other. We remember it as the night in which Jesus instituted the Eucharist, and we celebrated the last Eucharist before Easter. We remember it as the night Jesus was betrayed, and we stripped the altar signifying our complicity in pushing him out of our lives.

Today is Good Friday. This is the day in which our Lord was nailed to a cross and hung up to die. This is the day in which our Lord did just that -- he died. This is the beginning of the questions. We spent three years with this guy, and for what? Why do the good people die young? Is it worth it to challenge the authorities like he did? If they killed this guy, are they above killing me? What do we do now?

If you have had the experience of having someone close to you die, you get a little sense of where the disciples were on this day. Your life is turned upside down and there's a void that you don't know if it will ever be filled again. This person played a major role in your life: friend, mentor, teacher, role model, lover, parent, guardian, confidant. Jesus was all of those. Jesus is all of those.

But you also have to remember that this was no ordinary death. He didn't die suddenly. He didn't die from an illness. He didn't die privately in a home. He died slowly, agonizingly, and very publicly. He died where everyone from his friends to his enemies to the curious could come and watch the event. And nobody who loved him could offer the least bit of comfort.

After seeing him whipped, beaten and abused, his friends watched him carry his own cross to Golgotha. When he got there, they watched as his arms were stretched out, and they heard the hammer pound the nails into his arms and feet. They watched him suffer. They heard him say, "It is finished." And they watched him die.

"It is finished." That phrase has always stuck in my mind. It is finished. Did I learn everything I was supposed to learn? If it is finished, what are we supposed to do now? If it is finished, is there any point in continuing? If it is finished, will this group stay together? If it is finished, do we want to stay together?

So many questions, and all of them left unanswered. All we know for sure right now is that Jesus is dead. We are alone. We have nowhere to go.

It is finished. What are you going to do now?

HOLY SATURDAY

"There is no celebration of the Eucharist on this day."

Can you hear it? The sound of nothing. Nothing is happening today. All of creation is still. Still from the shock of the death of Jesus. Yes, Jesus is dead. That is why the funeral pall is over the altar. Still with the anticipation of his resurrection. We know what happened. We know what will happen. But right now, we are between times.

Much like now when we are between his resurrection and second coming, today we are between his death and resurrection. It's an odd feeling. We can't go back, and we don't dare go forward. Life has been put on pause.

Have you ever had one of those moments? One of those moments when everything seems to slow down and hang in the balance. In our everyday life, those moments are usually few and far between. Car accidents come to mind. Two of those moments come to mind for me.

First, when I was a teenager at summer camp. We had a soccer tournament, and I was the goalie for my team. During the course of that tournament, we went undefeated. Not only were we undefeated, but nobody even scored on us. Our last game was against the camp counselors and staff. There was one shot. Towards the upper right corner of the goal. I was off to the left. I jumped and laid out horizontally in the air. Would I or wouldn't I make the stop? Would I or wouldn't I keep our record intact? In those few seconds, nobody knew.

The second was at the birth of my daughter. I was there in the delivery room. My wife was in labor. No longer a childless couple, but not yet parents. There was no way I could go back to the way it was, and I was too scared to go forward. Going back would mean leaving my marriage, my wife, and my future child. Going forward would mean being responsible for the life of another human being in ways I couldn't even imagine. Would I or wouldn't I be able to cope with that? Would I or wouldn't I be a good parent? In those few minutes, nobody knew.

And that's where we are today. We can't go back to life before the arrest and crucifixion of Jesus. Adn we can't go forward because we dont' yet know what will happen. All of creation is on pause today. Will Satan win? Will those who are more concerned with enforcing personal holiness codes and being right gain the upper hand? Or will God prevail? Will those who are more concerned with love and compassion adn respecting the dignity of every human being gain the upper hand? In these few hours, nobody knows.

So today, take a few minutes to pause and reflect. Remember where you've been. Dream about where you want to go. Today, hold your breath will all of creation. Today, more than any other day, hurry and wait upon the Lord.

EASTER VIGIL
MATTHEW 28:1-10

Alleluia! Christ is risen!

Tonight we kindled the new fire, lit the Paschal candle, and moved from darkness to light. Tonight we heard the record of God's saving deeds in history; stories of creation, deliverance, salvation and a new spirit. Tonight we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. Tonight, for many people, is the first Eucharist since Thursday night. Tonight, our Alleluia's ring out strong and joyful, finally released from their Lenten confinement like school children released for summer vacation.

In our heads, we know all of this to be true. We've heard the stories. We've participated in the liturgies. We have prayed and fasted and worshipped and studied long enough to know that God is God, Jesus is Savior and the Holy Spirit is our Advocate. We are pretty rational about the whole thing, really; after all, we're Episcopalians.

But we need to remember that ours is not a rational faith. Ours is a faith based on the resurrection of a man who died on a cross. Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, refers to our faith and its message as foolishness. It does seem foolish, doesn't it? People talking with angels, trained soldiers so scared that they play dead, a dead man walking, and, more surprising at the time of the gospel writings and the early church but less so now, Jesus making himself known to women first. It's foolishness. And it's the basis of our faith.

Which brings me to the angel and Jesus. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to the tomb. From other stories, we know that they went to finish the burial process that they were unable to complete because of Sabbath restrictions. They were expecting to anoint the body of Jesus. They weren't expecting to see an agel or an empty tomb; but that's exactly what happened. An angel of the Lord came, removed the stone, and said, "Do not be afraid," and sends them off to tell the disciples. As they are running back to tell the disciples their story, they meet up with the risen Lord. He says the same thinig, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers."

"Do not be afraid." This phrase, or something very close to it, is usually the first thing angels say when they speak to people. There are many stories throughout all of scripture about angels appearing to people and saying, "Fear not." Why is that? It's because angels are SCARY. They descend from heaven blasing with glory like lighting, swords swirling, clothes blinding white, and they carry messages from the LIVING GOD that are meant specifically for YOU. Angels are scary dudes.

"Do not be afraid," then, is a way to relax people. The angel is saying, "Hey, I'm on your side, I'm not going to hurt you." Don't be afraid. Relax. Take it easy. You've found favor with God. I bring you good news. That phrase calms us down, and it calmed down the two Marys. Maybe.

Instead of being a phrase used to calm us down, I propose that, at this particular time, this is a phrase that is meant to excite us. It's a phrase meant to challenge us. It's a phrase meant to drive us to foolishness. "C'mon, don't be afraid! Don't chicken out!" How many times in our lives have we been driven to irrational and foolish acts by that statement? This is the context of that statement in the gospel.

So the women went "with fear and great joy." The great joy is obvious. Jesus was alive. Like seeing someone you thought you had lost in a terrible disaster, but had been found. 9/11 or the tsunami come to mind. "I thought you were dead, but you're alive!!"

But with fear? Why did they go with fear? Because there was still that rational part of their brain saying, "What will the others think? Will they think I'm foolish?" We do the same thing today. We wonder what the person in the other pew will think. We wonder what our friends will think if we "get religion." The answer to those questions is, "It doesn't matter."

The presider says, "Alleluia!! Christ is risen!!" and we respond, "the lord is risen indeed. allulia." What's with that?? We need to get over our fear. We need to quite worrying about what other people will think. We need to be foolish. We need to show some life!

Ours is a foolish faith. Jesus is alive! We need to proclaiim that always, but especially on this night. So I challenge you: Go and proclaim that Christ is alive.

Alleluia! Christ is risen!

Don't be afraid.

EASTER DAY
JOHN 20:1-18

Our eyes deceive us. They blind us to what is real and make us believe what isn't there. When we see the familiar in unfamiliar places, they block our minds from recognizing both what and whom we know.

I remember watching an episode of Andy Griffith and saw a young actor probably all of 25 who was playing the part of the new town doctor. Even though I recognized him, I couldn't recall why I recognized him.

I also officiated high school football for 13 years before I went to seminary. Most of that time was spent with the same group of guys. We would meet every week before the season started to discuss rules and plays and whatnot, and then we would meet every other week during the season. We traveled together, dressed together, worked games together and ate together. But if I ran into one of them at the grocery store, I couldn't for the life of me remember their name or even why I recognized him. I would sometimes strike up a conversation in hopes that their voice would jog my memory.

Mary Magdalene was in the same situation. Mary had been one of Jesus' disciples for quite sometime. In fact, she could be considered one of the "inner circle." Ever since he had healed her of her seven demons, she was involved in his ministry. And, it would seem, she had enough money to support the cause. And, in case you are wondering, let me point out that Mary Magdalene was NOT the prostitute we hear so much about.

So Mary was a long time disciple and followed him around the area. She was used to seeing him in certain situations. She was used to seeing him as the center of attention. Healing the blind, curing the sick and raising the dead will do that to a person. Remember when the woman with the issue of blood reached out and touched his robe? He said, "Who touched me?" His disciples said, "You've got to be kidding me! There are a hundred people here." Mary has expectations of Jesus.

And today, there are no more crowds. Jesus is dead. Mary returns to the tomb today, probably to finish the burial preparations that were interrupted by the Sabbath. When she gets there, she finds the tomb open and the body gone. Not only did Mary have expectations of Jesus, but she has exptectation of dead people; and one of those expectations is that dead people stay where they were put. So she goes and tells the other disciples.

Peter and the other guy check it out. She follows. Eventually, they leave her alone, and she begins to cry. Looking into the tomb to double check, she sees two angels, and they ask her why she is crying. She turns around and says, "Because they've taken him away." Why did she turn? Because we don't like people to see us cry. We don't want to appear vulnerable. So we try to hide our tears.

And when she turns around, there's another guy asking her why she's crying. This is like a bad episode of 1st Century Dr. Phil. "Why are you crying?" Assuming he's the gardener, and not wanting to have to look at this guy either, she turns around again. She sees the face. Maybe it was a familiar face. Maybe it was like that actor on the Andy Griffith show or my fellow officials in the grocery store. But there are no crowds to trigger her memory. There are no miracles. Her eyes see, but they also deceive. Her eyes blocked her mind from understanding based on her preconceived ideas of both Jesus and how dead people are supposed to behave.

While she has her back to the "gardener," it happens. Her eyes no longer block her vision, and in a calm, soothing voice -- the same voice that she heard heal her of her demons -- she hears, "Mary." Now she knows. Now it clicks. This isn't the gardener. This is Jesus risen from the dead! This is Jesus -- alive! What her eyes and mind could not accept, her ears and heart did.

Maybe we need to quit looking so hard for Jesus. Maybe our eyes deceive us and blind us to where the risen Christ is. Instead of spending our time looking for Jesus in church, or in spirituality, or in the mountains, or wherever, we need to spend some time listening. We need to listen to other people and have conversations with other people. And maybe in those conversations, we will hear Jesus talking through the other person and with us. Maybe we need to slow down, close our eyes, and listen for Jesus to speak to us.

Rather than trying to see Jesus in the other person, which can be difficult, we need to spend some time listening to the other's stories. Hopefully through honest listening, unclouded by our visual preconceptions, we can hear Jesus and respond to his call. So close your eyes and listen. And maybe, like I was able to recall the soothing voice of Fr. Mulcahey, we will be able to hear the familiar voice of Jesus reaching us in unfamiliar and unexpected places.

MAUNDY THURSDAY

He washed my feet tonight, trying to make me see. But I didn't understand.

I ate with him tonight, and he broke the rules again. This was supposed to be the Passover celebration, but he talked about his broken body and his spilled blood. No celebration there. I didn't understand that either.

I've had enough. All the talk and no action. The miracles without the proclamation. He was to be the One; but he refuses to exert his authority. He talks about the end of his life as if it were some great sacrifice, when in reality it's nothing more than police-assisted suicide.

Fine, if that's the way he wants it, then I want no part of it. He can go his own way, and I'll go mine. He talks a good talk, but, in the end, he can't even stick to his own goals.

You're on your own. I don't need you, and I don't want to be part of this ridiculous self-destructive agenda anymore. Leave me alone!

And he did.

HOW MUCH??

Do you ever wonder if you are doing enough? No matter what you do, there always seems to be "just a little more" that you could do. And when does helping out cross the line of self-care so that you no longer have time for your family or yourself?

I tend to go overboard when thinking about things like this. I'm continually falling down that slippery slope; whether it is the above line of questioning, extrapolating the worst case scenarios for my first Holy Week as a Vicar, or figuring out just how well I'll do in prison after tax season.

"What brought this on?" you may ask. I received my first request for help today. As in, "Pastor, could you spare a few bucks?" The two of us had a short conversation about his situation. I would have like to have been able to put him up in a motel for a month. I would have like to have provided his meals for that long. I would have liked have helped him . . . .

How much is too much? I couldn't do it all. He wasn't asking for it all. Just a little extra cash to tide him over. I don't know much, but I do know that I don't hand out cash. One of the things that was causing problems was that his car was down to fumes and he couldn't fill the tank -- which limited his mobility. I met him at the local gas station and filled his tank for him. He was pleased and thankful for that.

But still I wondered: What else could I/should I have done? And how much is too much?

RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS

First: yes, we have had some rain and snow. This is a good thing.

Second: It's Monday of Holy Week and I, like many other clergy out there, have been trying to pull some last minute things together. Like, a sermon for Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, the Easter Vigil, and Easter Day. Um, yeah, just a little behind the curve here. I did manage to make an executive decision though -- The sermons for Maundy Thursday & Easter Vigil will be written up in VC (I hope). The rest will be done at CC. This may come down to doing something off the cuff. If that happens, I can guarantee they won't be posted here.

I also managed to get the music selected for Easter Day. Got ahold of my VC organist and let him know. (Was going to say, "gave him hymns," but thought better of it.) Also tried to get ahold of our substitute for CC. The regular organist there is in the hospital with pneumonia-like symptoms and may not be out in time for Easter service. Not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but she has been the organist at CC since at least 1960.

What happened today? The candle order I placed on Friday came today. They're too big. Had to re-order. Might be able to sell the wrong ones to VC. Got all the hymnals that were left over in the parish hall for Palm Sunday back in the pews. Laid out the service for tomorrow evening at VC. Reviewed the Good Friday service. Thought about stripping the altar at CC, but decided to wait until Wednesday. Tried to compose a sermon, gave up after the first sentence.

Maybe my problem with the Good Friday sermon is that it's too personal. I need to figure out how I take my personal piety of Good Friday (and Maundy Thursday and Holy Saturday for that matter) and put it into a sermon. If anyone has any brilliant ideas, I'd love to hear them.

And now, I believe I'm being called to dinner. Have a blessed Holy Week.

PALM SUNDAY - YEAR A

More than any other previous sermon, the live version felt totally different than what's written below. It must have been the emotion of the day. And, it may not actually qualify as a sermon, but more of a "directive from the Vicar" to show up for services. Anyway, here it is:

And so it begins. Palm Sunday is the first day of Holy Week. Today we get to experience almost the entirety of Holy Week in one service. From the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem, when we proclaimed him King of kings and brandished palms in his honor, to our rejection of that same man and participation in his death on a cross, and to his burial in a borrowed tomb.

And if you don't think you participated, think again. We were all part of that crowd that cried, "Hosanna!" and sang, "All glory laud and honor." And we were all part of that crowd that yelled, "Crucify him!! WE WANT BARABBAS!!"

Today we get almost all of it. Unsupportive friends, betrayal, desertion, lynch mobs, an attempted rescue, humiliation, death and compassion. What we don't get, though, is life. We don't get resurrection. We are left hanging. And that is as it should be. We have to wait. We have to go through all of it; because to get to resurrection and life, you have to die.

I put up flyers around town last week inviting people to "Celebrate Holy Week" with us. In retrospect, they should've read, "Experience Holy Week." Because in reality, Holy Week is just that, an experience. It's more than several individual services. It's the experience of life to death to life that makes it what it is.

I'll be honest with you -- I never really experienced Holy Week until I went to seminary. Sure, I attended Palm Sunday, occasionally got to Maundy Thursday, usually missed Good Friday, and had never heard of Holy Saturday. In other words, I made it when I could. The problem was that, for me, they were individual services that I tried to fit in to an already busy schedule. Today is Palm Sunday. Today is Maundy Thursday. Today is Good Friday. The problem with that, though, is that it minimized the impact of Easter. Easter Day became just another day to play dress-up.

When I got to seminary, however, there wasn't anything else to do during Holy Week; the campus shuts down on Thursday and you have no choice but to experience the whole of Holy Week. Tennebrae slides into Maundy Thursday and the last hours of Jesus lead to the despair of abandonment, which gives way to the grief of Jesus' death on Good Friday, leaving you numb on Holy Saturday, and finally awakening to new life on Easter. It can be an emotionally draining time. It is for me. But I felt the impact of Easter, the joy of resurrection, much more fully after going through the experience of Holy Week.

We have the same opportunity here. Just as you have participated in the Passion Narrative, I urge you to participate more fully in the days to come. Thursday evening in VC, beginning at 5:30, we will have an agape meal followed by a foot washing, Eucharist, and the stripping of the altar. That evening, Christ Church will be open (heated and lit) for anyone who wants to spend an hour in prayer, in remembrance of the disciples who were with Jesus in Gethsemane. Christ Church will hold services at noon on both Good Friday and Holy Saturday. And finally, we will celebrate the Easter Vigil on Saturday evening at 7:30 in VC with the congregations of Trinity, St. Paul's and Christ Churches. I get to start a bonfire and everything!

Like I said, Holy Week can be an emotionally draining time. But as with anything else, your appreciation for it will grow the more deeply you experience it. The significance of the liturgy will be heightened, and your Easter "Hallelujah!"s will be more joyful as the experience of the week allows for a deeper appreciation of the Paschal Mystery.

Today is Palm Sunday. The day when we get the short version of the whole week. But short versions don't always tell the whole story. So I urge you to participate as fully as you possibly can as we move from life to death to resurrection. Allow yourself the time to experience Holy Week. You will never see Easter the same way again.

THE GOOD NEWS

The Gonzaga women won their first round NIT game. They play Monday night.

Here's hoping for the best.

ANOTHER DREAM DIES TOO SOON

Texas Tech sneaks past Gonzaga.

If I say more than that, I'll start ranting incoherently. I need a nap.

SNOWBLIND

It's a VC day today. We made it home safely from our trip to Spokane & Wenatchee, and as we drove into Butte it started snowing. Although The Kid wasn't thrilled about it, I was glad to see some snow -- finally.

Sometimes my daughter is way smarter than I give her credit for. It snowed a little Monday night. We had a discussion over breakfast Tuesday morning about the benefits of the (much needed) snow in our drought-stricken part of the country. She said, "Dad, this stuff is so dry it could snow 6' and we wouldn't get enough water out of it to matter." She's right, this stuff is way dry. When brushing/scraping the snow off your car entails slamming the door to make it all fall off, it's dry.

And it snowed again last night and into today. The wind is blowing, the white stuff is coming down, it's WINTER -- praise be to God. With any luck, it'll be like this from now until mid-April (with the one exception of next Saturday night, since our Easter Vigil begins outdoors).

So, give thanks for snow in Montana.

SERMON -- LENT V - A

We spent most of yesterday driving back home from Washington, and the rest of the day unpacking. So, for the one or two of you who actually read these things, sorry I'm late posting. I actually didn't preach it -- I wrote it and one of my lay people read it. I did this once before, when CC had their annual meeting and I wasn't at St. Paul's. It was kind of weird, then, having someone else read your sermon. This time, though, I was more comfortable with it. Maybe that's because I'm getting more comfortable with the whole priest-thing in general. Anyway, enough blabbering -- here's the sermon for Lent V:
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I received an e-mail from a classmate of mine that went something like this: "We've come to the gospel that I've been dreading. I've posted some questions over on my blog and would appreciate your thoughts." For those who don't know, a "blog" is an on-line journal where people write about whatever they want. Priest-types tend to write about theology, their sermons, and other issues pertaining to the church; and usually, people can comment on those postings, giving rise to some good discussions.

What is it about this gospel that she dreads? It would seem that this should be easy -- Lazarus dies and is raised from the dead. What could be better than that? How could this story of grief-turned-to-celebration cause trouble for my friend? Well, as they say, "It's in the details."

The problem for her, as I understand it, and probably for many other people as well, lies in two sentences: 1) Martha said to Jesus, "But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him," and 2) Jesus said to her, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" These sentences bring up a myriad of questions about our relationship with God and prayer.

The big question is this: What if we don't get what we pray for? Other questions fall from that. Such as: If we don't get what we pray for, are we praying wrong? Does it mean that we don't have enough faith? Does it mean that our God is not all powerful? Does it mean that God is impotent? Does it mean that God is uncaring? And it even calls into question God's very existence.

We were faced with this very issue just about two weeks ago when Dan was severely injured in a car accident. We've all heard the details of that, so I won't repeat them here. But know this: in the minutes, hours and days immediately following that accident, there was a whole lot of praying going on. And those prayers were as many and as varied as the people of this Valley.

By now you all should have received your copy of "The Good News." In putting that issue together, I would not let George include a note that said, "Pray for Dan's full and speedy recovery" for precisely the reasons I just mentioned. What if we had prayed for that and, instead of the recovery we have witnessed, he had been paralyzed? The short answer to that is that I would have been a very busy man. My point here is that we need to pay attention to our prayers.

Prayer is not a quick-fix hotline to the Almighty Oz. Prayer is how we communicate with God. Prayer is what our relationship with God is built on. And just like any other relationship, it's not always easy. God promises to be with us always, but God does not promise to run the world based on our schedules or our desires.

Is it wrong to pray for what we want? No. But we need to understand that getting what we want may not be in our best interests. We also need to understand that prayer isn't a way to get our spiritual needs instantly gratified. If all we got was dessert, we'd be weak.

Instead of praying for what we want, maybe we should be praying for courage to face what comes our way, strength to get through difficult times, and wisdom to discern God's will. You can see this in the Lord's Prayer. Look carefully at that prayer and you will see that what we want isn't part of the equation. That prayer focuses on God's will, our needs, forgiveness and guidance.

So, how does all of this relate back to the gospel? First, God promises to be with us always. In Mary and Martha's despair over the death of their brother, Jesus was right there with them. When they cried, he cried. When they were distressed, he was distressed. This isn't a God who makes everything "all right" with a flick of his finger. Rather, this is a God who understands our life and is with us when we can't be left alone.

Second, it has to do with vision. This Lent, I have been talking about letting God lead you through the wilderness. You may not know where that will take you, and you may not see the point; but if you let God lead, you will begin to broaden your vision and begin to see as God sees.

"Jesus said to her, 'Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?'" Seeing the glory of God doesn't always mean seeing someone raised from the dead, or seeing a man with a broken neck walk. It can, but it also means being able to expand your vision so that you can see the hand of God in every aspect of your life. Whether good or bad, joyous or sorrowful, God is with you always.

And that is the lesson of Lazarus -- that God is with you always. In life and death and life again, God is with us. When we move our prayers from "me first" to "Your will be done," when we allow God to lead us through deserts, and when we acknowledge that God is with us always, then we will begin to see as God sees. And then, like Jesus told Martha, we will see the glory of God.

Amen.

VACATION (sort of)

So we took a mini-vacation of sorts. This is less of a vacation and more of a family business trip. My wife's grandmother is having some health issues, and she wanted to check up on her and see how she's doing. Grandpa isn't in the best of health, but he seems to be holding his own.

She's had some "spells" recently that have given family members cause for concern. Her back is bothering her, she walks with a noticeable limp, she can't always get her right leg up off the ground when she walks (thereby causing a loss of balance and the occasional fall). And the "best" part of all this is that she attributes her problems to her eyes. Yes, her eyes. "I'm having starting to have vision problems and I'm sure that that's why I lose my balance." Right. Stubborn woman. Oh, did I mention that she's 85?

Then there's grandpa. He's got arthritis in his hands so bad that his fingers look like gnarled tree trunks. He needs two hands to lift a drink. But he's still out there mowing his lawn, fixing his tractor, running errands for his wife and digging up weeds. Not to mention the little "project" he worked on a few weeks ago -- the septic tank needed cleaning out, so he dug it out himself. He turns 88 Monday. "Everyone else was busy that day and it needed to be done." Stubborn man.

I'm not exactly sure what, if anything, we will be able to do. But the wife wanted to make the trip, so here we are. We also are managing to visit a few friends in Spokane. And, since this isn't really a vacation, I also wrote the sermon for the Sunday service in VC. One of my parishioners will lead Morning Prayer and deliver it. The first time I did that, it felt weird -- having someone else deliver a sermon that I wrote. Not so much this time.

The other reason that this is a "working trip" is because Holy Week starts a week from tomorrow. My middler year at SWTS I was the Holy Week chair. That means that I was the guy who got people involved to actively participate and plan different services that week. While I didn't have anything specific to do with any one service, I had to make sure that everything stayed on schedule and that things happened when they were supposed to. At least I wasn't at the printers Friday morning trying to get the Good Friday ordos taken care of.

So here I am in a familiar situation. Once again I am the Holy Week chair, except this time there's no Holy Week committee to work with. I'm frantically trying to get the bulletins done for the services that need them; get the music sorted out; get people to commit to participating in some capacity; get people to show up for services; and hope that I'm not forgetting something somewhere.

More than anything else, I hate looking stupid in public; and that's what's driving me nuts. I am trying to remember that nobody in Sheridan or VC will be as hard on me as I; and I am trying to relax. Really. But, in all honesty, next to my name are the letters M.Div; and next to those are the letters O.C.D.

Like my liturgics professor told me, Holy Week will come and the services will happen; the rest is just details. But it's the details that are killing me. And for those who are wondering; yes, the offices are closed Easter Monday and Tuesday.

SERMON -- LENT IV A

Two weeks ago, we heard that Jesus came into the world not to condemn it but to save it; and I talked about hate being easy and love being hard. It’s easy to hate someone different from you. It’s easy to hate the "other," for whatever reason. It’s easy to create a system of rules and regulations that keep people out. But it’s hard to love those who are different. It’s hard to open up the doors of society or your church or your heart and let people in. Love is hard work.

Last week, we heard the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well. Jews and Samaritans, men and women, outsiders and insiders. The overall theme of that particular gospel, as I presented it, was acceptance. Are you willing to accept the "other" for who they are, and can you accept the fact that God loves them as much as he loves you?

These two themes – that Jesus came into the world to save it and that we are called to meet the outsider where they are – come together in today’s gospel. We see Jesus reaching out to the blind man. This is important on two levels. First, in John, there’s a lot of light and dark issues. The blind man is walking in darkness. Jesus heals him and he is able to see the light of the world. Second, the blind man is an outcast in society. Jesus reaches out to he who is different and touches him where he lives.

However, there’s trouble in paradise. The blind man is healed by Jesus on the Sabbath, and that causes a ruckus with the religious leaders of the day because he, Jesus, isn’t following religious law. Jesus isn’t living by the tightly defined rules that determined who was worthy of the church and of God, and who was to be shunned or excommunicated for disobeying scripture and tradition.

Jesus, in this gospel, is being labeled a sinner by the religious authorities. As I just mentioned, Jesus doesn’t play by the rules, and that upsets a whole lot of people. He doesn’t fit into that itty bitty god-box that people build so that they don’t have to be challenged by God. It’s simple really – if somebody does something that doesn’t fit into your box, they get labeled as a sinner. Just as Jesus was labeled by the religious leaders.

Not only do the leaders attack Jesus, but they attack anyone who affiliates themselves with him. If you choose Jesus over the law, you are out. This is why the parents of the blind man refused to answer the questions of the leaders. And I also think it’s why the religious leaders of today attack anyone who doesn’t fall into their idea of "orthodoxy." Remember, there’s a big difference between "unorthodox" and "heretical." Jesus was unorthodox, but he wasn’t heretical.

And in one of the most hypocritical statements in the bible, the leaders say, "You are his disciple, but we are disciples of Moses. We know that God spoke to Moses." Do you remember the Old Testament reading from last week? "Did you bring us out here to die?" Even though God spoke directly to Moses, and he had those ten plagues, the pillar of fire and cloud of smoke and crossing the Red Sea thing going for him, the Israelites were still ready to stone him.

What this tells me is that, regardless of who the leader is, people don’t want to change. They have God and all their answers wrapped up in that tiny little box that they can understand and they don’t want to be challenged. Because if somebody challenges them, if somebody starts asking questions about what’s in the box, then they might have to confront the fact that all those answers they have so carefully worked out might be inadequate.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that anything goes. But we need to take a good hard look at what we believe is core to our faith. Is it our own set of religious laws and holiness codes that determines who is in and who is out? Or is it simply the Trinity, the resurrection and that Jesus is the Messiah and our Savior? I tend to think it’s the latter. And if we truly follow Jesus, then everything else will fall into place.

Remember, it wasn’t the religious authorities that welcomed the former blind man, it was Jesus. So in the end, the question we need to ask ourselves is this: Are we walking around in the dark blinded by our own set of predetermined rules on what constitutes "orthodoxy;" or are we willing to be a bit "unorthodox" as we reach out to those different from us as we try to shine the light of Jesus on a dark world?

So go ahead, be a little unorthodox and help light up the world.

UPDATES

It isn't really housecleaning, more updating to the list over there on the right. First, I'm somewhate apologetic and very excited at the same time to add a link to the G.U. Women's Basketball team. Part of it is my fault for not following these ladies before; I mean, I have a daughter and we occassionally like to watch a women's game together. When I left Spokane for SWTS, the G.U. Women were pretty much cellar-dwellers, and, not being the hard-core basketball fan, I didn't really pay attention to them. And then there's the fact that unless it's a big-time program (Tennessee, U-Conn, Stanford), women's sports get ignored until tournament time; and the G.U. women were never tournament bound.

HOWEVER -- I happened to be watching ESPN this morning and noticed on their Bottom Line (that score ticker that runs across the screen) that the Gonzaga Women beat Portland last night. Not only that, but they are ranked #23. WOW!! Who knew?? So, with apologies to the women out there for not giving equal time to them, I now have a permanent link to the women of Gonzaga.

I've also added Jim to my links. He's a gay male who is exploring his call, and his blog focuses on "spiritual and practical reflections about discerning and living into his vocational hopes." He's got some interesting things to say, so go check him out.

And finally, I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post, but the update from Dan's family is that the neck surgery went well and the prognosis is for an almost-full recovery. I don't want to say "full recovery," since that is speculative at best when you're dealing with neck injuries, but it's looking good and the family is in good spirits.

And now, it's time to throw another load of laundry in the wash and try to bang out a sermon for Sunday.

LONG DAY, PART II

I met with my treasurer this morning. He's also the publisher of the VC newsletter. This is the first combined effort with Sheridan, and it came together fairly well. After a little friendly bantering and complaining and such, we got it hammered out. Then he took me to lunch. Never turn down free food.

After lunch, there were some tourists poking around the church. Slightly out of season, but I played tour guide nonetheless. They were Episcopalians from W. Tennessee. I always enjoy showing off St. Paul's to people -- nobody expects to find this building in a ghost town in SW Montana.

Then I met with my organist to go over some Easter Vigil music.

After that, I set up my new computer. Yes, I have a new computer for my office. Our diocesan administrator brought it down from Helena on Tuesday as a surprise. Just one, so I had to pick the office. I chose VC because 1) there are more outlets there; 2) that's where I mainly write my sermons; 3) the desk in VC is more stable than the desk in Sheridan. So I got that all set up. However, I forgot how long it takes to get unpacked, installed, plugged in, initialized and whatever. Before I knew it, it was 5:00. So much for my sermon this week.

I left the office in disarray and headed out to the Pioneer Bar in VC to give this Theology on Tap a run. It went over about as well as it did in Sheridan, except nobody bought me a drink and nobody offered to take me fishing. But, I might get a few new people into church because of it.

Right now, it's a once-a-month thing at the bar in Sheridan and VC. That's a good start.

And when I got home, I got the latest update on Dan (see below). So, except for the sermon, things are looking up.

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE

Wednesday was a LONG day. First, the Sheridan area Lenten breakfast at Oh-Dark:30, then off to work to try to get some sermon writing done.

At 9:45, I got a phone call from one of my parishioners: "Dan's been in a bad accident, and he's at the hospital."

The sermon can wait. So I walked up to the hospital, since Mrs. Ref had the car that day; and, hey, it's Sheridan, you can walk anywhere. I arrived at the same time as the ambulance. Dan was not looking too good. He was out in his field chasing down a troublesome coyote when his rig hit a rut wrong and rolled. Uncomfirmed reports say three times. Luckily one of his hired hands was right behind him. The rescue squad got to the scene and cut him out of the truck.

The long and short of it is that his left ear was almost totally detached, he appeared to have broken his arm in several spots, and there was an undetermined problem in his neck (the hospital couldn't get a good x-ray because he was strapped so tight to the backboard). I sat with his wife for awhile at the hospital. He was airlifted to Missoula, and his family is with him.

The update is that his ear has been reattached, his arm isn't broken, his neck was. Neck surgery was today, and it went extremely well. Apparently the broken neck caused the arm problem. Word now is that he should be fine after recovery. Amazing, amazing, amazing.

I hung out at the hospital after his family left to gather things needed for the trip to Missoula. That was a good thing, because I got to talk to him before they took him to the airport.

Then it was off to the Stockman Bar for a little "Theology on Tap." Not my original idea -- I heard that name used when I was in seminary. I met a few people, had some good conversations, Billy bought me a beer and promised to take me fishing this summer. Not a bad night.

It was a long day.