Reverend Ref +

FIRST WEDDING SERMON

Weddings. What comes to mind when I say that word? Celebration. New life. Music. Bad dresses (although, not today). Family. Friends. All of these are part of weddings. In the church, weddings, baptisms, and funerals are the big events that make up the fabric of our lives; to borrow a phrase from an old commercial. But these are not the whole story. In the long run, they are but a small part of our lives.

After the ceremony, after the party, after the tuxes have been returned, what's left? What is left is the marriage. And that is what we are celebrating here today: the marriage of Ryan and Dena. From here on out, your marrige will determine the rest of your life together. Whether it be career choices or vacations, children or cars, everything you do will be dtermined by what your marrige needs or can handle. And if the load is too great, there's the possibility that the marrige will break. So you need to work on balance.

There's a big uproar over marriage right now. A battle over who can and who cannot be married. "What happens if we let 'those' people get married?" or "The sanctity of marriage is being threatend." And on and on it goes. Well, with all due respect, none of those arguments hold water. Marriage isn't being threatened. If anything, people are taking a closer look at what marriage is all about. And that's just what Ryan, Dena, and I have done over the last few months.

"Why do you want to get married?"
"Because I'm better off with this person than without them."

"Why do you want to get married in the church?"
"Because we want to invite God to be part of our lives."

This is the wrong time to ask these two what they remember from those sessions. But if they remember even a little bit of what we talked about, they will have a good foundation from which to build their marriage.

We talked about money and goals, and kids and careers. We talked about math, because every married person understands that 1+1 = 3. We talked about the role of the church in their lives. We talked about talking. And if they can remember all, or even some of that, then, indeed, like our gospel for today said, no one will be able to separate them.

This isn't only about Dena and Ryan, though. Everyone here today has a stake in this marriage. A few minutes ago, I asked if you would support them in their marriage, and you all answered, "We will." I don't know what the contractual obligations are for that, but it is your responsibility to help them out. Those who have not been married long can share stories of joy and frustration that a new marriage brings. Those who have been married for a long time can offer snippets of marital wisdom -- but only if they ask for it. And you all can remind them of why they got married in the first place.

So, Dena . . . Ryan. The wedding is here, but it's only a small part of your marriage. And marriage, remember, is good work to do. It will take effort. There will be good days and there will be bad days. When you run across one of the bad days, remember that you are better off with each other than without. And when you have a good day, remember that those are better celebrated together than apart.

Now . . . are the two of you ready to do this? Then let's go get you married.