HARD

I have a parishioner who is sometimes . . . difficult . . . to deal with. He's an arch-conservative who speaks his mind loudly and, some would say, insensitively (is that a word?? is now).

About a year ago we were having a discussion about gays and the church. He let it be known in no uncertain terms that he doesn't like them, he thinks they choose that lifestyle, and he thinks they are bent on destabilizing the foundations of our society.

I told him, "I don't care if you don't like gay people, I care whether or not you are willing to continue to come to church, sit in the pew with a variety of people, and if you are willing to share a communion meal with those people."

He said he could do that.

Fast forward to this past Sunday, when said parishioner had a "solution" to the immigration problem. In short, he thought it would be a good idea that for every illegal Mexican that came across the border, "we ship one black from prison down there in return." Other things were said that I need not repeat here.

Now, I am not a debater. I don't do well with the snappy and defensible come-backs, and I can't think that quick during an argument. I need to take my time, formulate answers and research supporting evidence.

That's what I've been doing the last couple of days.

Today I had the hard job of playing Priest-In-Charge (that works better if you say it in a deep voice with a bit of an echo), and talking to him about his comments. I invited him to have lunch with me.

We had a great conversation about the Episcopal Church, Presiding Bishop-elect Schori, and a variety of other things.

More importantly, we had a civil conversation about his comments. I must have done okay in my "Authoritative Priestly Role," because he agreed to make changes to his speech, thanked me for my honesty, and even paid for lunch.

So, I guess I did okay. It's still a hard part of the job that I don't enjoy.