SERMON, GEN. 2:18-24, MARK 10:2-9, PROPER 22B

Marriage. You may have noticed that it was the topic of the Old Testament, Gospel and our opening hymn. It's a funny institution, this thing we call marriage.

Historically marriage is nothing more than a social contract, a transfer of property or a form of political alliance. Today, in a majority of Western countries, marriage is all about love, about finding that one person you can love and cherish and never tire for the rest of your life.

The reading from Genesis tells us that man and woman were made for each other. In many respects, they complement each other. In the beginning, God made a human. This person has traditionally been referred to as a male because of the name Adam. But that word, A'dam, could very well mean "earth creature." Not male, not female, just human. Male and female aren't differentiated until after the formation of the female. Think about it: if you are the first and only person on the face of the earth, how do you know what gender you are without the other? I don't want to get bogged down in this, but here's my point: one person, from whom two people were formed, who are reunited in marriage to form one flesh.

That may have been the ideal, but sometimes plans don't always work out. In Mark, the Pharisees ask Jesus about divorce. Notice that this line of questioning only goes one way -- can a man divorce his wife? It's never asked, "Can a woman divorce her husband?" Regardless, there's a discussion between the two and it comes down to Jesus saying that a man and a woman should never be divorced. And that line has been used for both good and ill ever since.

I'm generally not a big fan of divorce. My parents were divorced when I was around 12. My wife and I have some very close friends who are going through one right now. And recently I met with a young woman who will probably file for divorce. Ideally we would never have the problem. But this is not an ideal world; it is sinful and broken and that gets reflected back into our relationships.

In our system of marrying for love, how do we know that we are making the right choice? And what if we find out later in life that we chose wrong? While I don't agree that divorce is ideal, it may be necessary. An abusive spouse, addictions or child abuse are valid reasons for leaving a marriage in order to protect the innocent. But how do we know up front about those issues, and how do we know it will last?

The short answer is, "We don't."

Marriage is often a leap of faith. Two people have come together and believe they have what it takes to last until they are parted by death.

Other times marriage is a forced issue through a mistake of one kind or another. Or it's because one person feels trapped in a relationship -- all the plans have been made, invitations have been sent out, and it seems that getting married is the path of least resistance. Or if not the path of least resistance, the path that will cause the least amount of harm.

And then there is the ultimate question for me: a person in an okay marriage runs into someone totally unexpected, someone who turns things uside down and inside out, causing them to feel not only 17 again, but very conflicted. Or the couple has "drifted apart," and they suddenly realize they aren't as compatible or have nothing in common anymore. What then?

Does personal happiness ever trump previously stated vows? Is it ever okay to end those vows for the sake of perceived well-being? What about the kids and property? It's never easy and often ugly, and I don't know the answers to all those questions.

There are all kinds of reasons people get married, some good and some not so good. There are all kinds of reasons people get divorced, some good and some not so good.

When a marriage ends, regardless of the reasons, it's a sad thing. When a marriage ends, there is usually enough guilt and blame to go around for everyone involved.

But this isn't just about ending a marrige. Marriages are part of life and life can be hard. There are good spots and bad spots, smooth spots and rough spots. And sometimes, when we are in the middle of the rough spots, it can be difficult to see the good. That, however, may be all we have to hang onto.

One of the preachers at convention last week mentioned that we are a resurrection people. She was right; for where there is death, life will spring up. Again, that is sometimes hard to believe when you are in the middle of dying. When things are not as they seem, when things are not as they should be, when things are crashing down around us, we need something to hold onto. That something is resurrection.

It's all well and good to say that marriage was ordained by God and that divorce is not an option. But the reality is is that sometimes there are issues that, for the safety of a person or children, force us to consider divorce. And the reality is is that marriage is hard work and there will be unforeseen circumstances that arise and cause major difficulties, or that make us think we are dying.

If we think we are dying, whether in marriage or in life in general, we need to remember that we are resurrection people. Jesus died. Jesus is risen. We need to hold onto the knowledge that resurrection is coming and that, someday, all will be right.